Dealing with death

Dealing With Death
It is only natural to experience grief when a loved one dies. The National Mental Health Association, a great resource when dealing with a loss, suggests the following ways to cope with the pain:

Seek out caring people.
Express your feelings.
Take care of your own health.
Accept that life is for the living.
Avoid major life changes.
Seek outside help when necessary.
Be patient. It can take months or even years to absorb a major loss and accept your changed life.
Be patient with yourself. You probably cannot even imagine ever being happy again. Yet people around you may be telling you to "get on with your life."

They mean well but you may not be ready for this kind of advice. Ask them to be patient with you and be patient with yourself. Tell others what you need from them at this point in time - listening, sharing memories of the person who is gone, or just being there with you and for you.

No one can predict how long the grieving process will take in any particular situation. But someday, believe it or not, you will no longer want to hold on to the pain. Gradually you will be able to accept what has happened and move beyond your sorrow.

Set little goals for yourself. Getting beyond grief takes a lot of effort. You may feel uncomfortable returning to normal activities, but getting back into a routine will help.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to set little goals each day:

Call up a friend.
Clean out a closet.
Get tickets for an event you'll enjoy.
Start a creative project.
Read a book. Click here for good teen fiction on the subject of death
As you try to accomplish your goals, you will slowly move beyond your grief, rather than allowing it to paralyze you. Doing something helpful for someone else is another good way to begin focusing outside of yourself.

Turn to God. When someone you love dies,
it's not unusual to feel angry at God: "This isn't fair! You're supposed to be a good God. Why did you let this happen?" Or you might wonder: "Are you even there, God?"

Let God know how you hurt. It's O.K. to share your pain and grief. In fact, such thoughts and feelings are a form of prayer. Prayer is simply talking to God, saying what you really feel. You don't need holy words; just speak from your heart. God understands your pain and suffers with you. Open yourself to God's healing love.

Belief in a life after death can also be a great comfort. The thought that someday you will be reunited with the person who has died can bring you peace and acceptance.