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Friday, September 11, 2009

Really Corny Jokes

Do you know what astronauts eat?
launch meat!

When is a cook mean?
when he beats eggs and whips cream!

How do you stop a charging rhinoceros?
take away his credit card!

What is the best way to carve wood?
whittle by whittle!

Why are movie stars so cool?
because they have so many fans!

If you want to hear some more jokes click on this link
http://www.brownielocks.com/jokes.html

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Are you sure your going to heaven?

Plan of Salvation: Rebirth is the Answer to Life’s Most Important QuestionPlan of Salvation -- We think life’s most important question is “Are you going to heaven when you die?” It is not a question of how good you are, whether you go to church, or how much money you give to charity. God says, in order to go to heaven, you must be born again (John 3:3).
Plan of Salvation: How can we be Born Again?The plan of salvation is right in the Bible. God gives us His clear plan for being “born again.” First, we must acknowledge God as the Creator of everything, and accept our humble position in God's creation. "You are worthy, O Lord, To receive glory and honor and power; For You created all things, And by Your will they exist and were created." (Revelation 4:11). Next, we must realize that we are sinners. “For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). Because we are sinners, we are condemned to death. “For the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). This includes eternal separation from God. But God loved each of us so much that He gave His only begotten Son, Jesus, to bear our sin and die in our place. “God demonstrates His love toward us, in that, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Although we cannot understand how, God said our sins were laid upon Jesus and He died in our place. Jesus became our substitute. In the Bible, a jailer asked his prisoners, Paul and Silas: “’Sirs, what must I do to be saved?’ So they said, ‘Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved.’” (Acts 16:30-31). It’s very clear in the Bible, believe in Jesus as the one who bore your sins, died in your place, was buried, and whom God resurrected. It’s Christ’s blood and resurrection that assures us of everlasting life when we call on Him as our Lord and Savior. "For whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved." (Romans 10:13). “Whosoever” includes each and every one of us. Therefore, if you understand that you are a sinner, and you believe that Jesus Christ came as the one and only Redeemer of sin, then you understand the plan of salvation. The question is – are you ready to implement the plan, by receiving God’s gift of His Son, Jesus Christ? If so, believe in Christ, repent of your sins, and commit the rest of your life to Him as Lord:
“Father, I know that I have broken your laws and my sins have separated me from you. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from my past sinful life toward you. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.”"Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." (Acts 2:38)If you decided to receive Jesus today, welcome to God's family. Now, as a way to grow closer to Him, the Bible tells us to follow up on our commitment.
Get baptized as commanded by Christ.
Tell someone else about your new faith in Christ.
Spend time with God each day. It does not have to be a long period of time. Just develop the daily habit of praying to Him and reading His Word. Ask God to increase your faith and your understanding of the Bible.
Seek fellowship with other followers of Jesus. Develop a group of believing friends to answer your questions and support you.
Find a local church where you can worship God.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Really Corny Jokes

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Are you sure your going to heaven?

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